October 17th

We talked about death and dying today. Why the lord hasn’t already taken me and how I sort of wish he had. Will he this time? He’s had his chances so many times. Why am I here? What’s his plan for me? Or is this the end of me? It’s such a possibility that my heart could give out and I would be home with the lord today. His plans, I do not know and I will never understand. But I am open to his plans although it makes my heart skip some beats…more than it already does on its own. I want to be with my savior. I want to put my hands in his sides and feel the holes in his hands, I can feel him with me, I want to feel him physically. Or is there so much more that I need to experience before I go? This is what I think. I have to take a train from Seattle to Boston before I die and I have to go to the top of the world to see the aurora borealis before it’s too late. I know all these things and better will probably be in heaven, but there’s nothing like seeing it while still on earth. So many questions, so little time.
Lord, give me wisdom.